We Need to Talk About Roy Williams’s Jacket | Sports
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Thursday, March 8, 2018

We Need to Talk About Roy Williams’s Jacket

Posted by on Thu, Mar 8, 2018 at 4:01 PM


North Carolina’s ACC tournament adventure got off to a banner start last night with a 78–59 rout of the Syracuse Orangemen, a contest that saw the Tar Heels take an early lead and methodically extend their advantage during a largely pressure-free second-half runaway.

Almost no one can win a game when they shoot a paltry 30 percent from the field, and thanks in large part to Kenny Williams’s complete shutdown of stud Tyus Battle, that’s all that Syracuse could muster.

On an evening that saw the Heels allow season lows in points, field goals, and shooting percentage, Carolina took it to a team that took them to the wire just a handful of days ago.

And while all of the statistical analysis and game recap depth is probably a good thing, what we really need to talk about is Roy Williams’s jacket.

With just a few minutes left and his Heels up twelve, Roy watched a play unfold on the court that didn’t suit him (pun maybe intended). After grabbing an offensive rebound and putting up a shot that the coach really really didn’t agree with, Theo Pinson drew Williams’s ire to such a degree that the coach found no other recourse than to rip off his country-club-issued sport coat and attempt to tear it in two.

Williams had a rather dubious and potentially questionable reason for the attempted tear.

“I told [Pinson] I was trying to rip my jacket because I couldn’t put my hands on him,” he told the gathered postgame reporters.

If Roy’s love for Theo hadn’t been extremely well-documented this season, the NCAA might be in the early stages of an investigation this morning. Of course, Williams followed that sentiment with such platitudes.

“I don’t love anybody more than I love that boy,” Williams said, looking at Pinson. “But I’m telling you, at that moment, me and his mama both wanted to strangle him.”

Listen, Roy, there are so many better ways to do this, all of which won’t end up with you looking like this. Of course, it might involve some preplanning and possibly have you investing in a lower-quality wardrobe. Perhaps, if in the first half your team looks a little flat, have an assistant cut a tiny tear at the bottom of the jacket. This way, you won’t have to deal with the pesky stitching of the neck or the doubled fabric in the collar.

Or you could go to Marshalls or Nordstrom Rack, grab a $50 jacket, and swap it out at the half for one of your nicer and presumably much more expensive looks.

If you wanna get real nuts, wouldn’t it be easier to tear your shirt, busting open the buttons down your chest, and coach the rest of the game looking like Bruce Banner mid-Hulkify?

You look good, Roy. I wouldn’t exactly put you in the upper echelon of elite dressers in the college hoops scene, but you’re no Bob Huggins either. There are plenty of ways to exude your frustration that do not include destroying what is presumably a very expensive Alexander Julian jacket.

Toss a chair like Bob Knight, try to fight somebody like John Chaney, or just lose your damn mind, a la Bobby Hurley.

But if tearing your jacket is the only way you think you can get your point across, maybe try one of this guy’s amazing tear-away suits. The only problem there is you might inadvertently lead an arena full of drunken undergrads on an epic, campus-wide streak past the Old Well, thousands of Heels fans, jiggling down Franklin Street. If indeed that is a problem.

The Heels follow up last night’s job well done with a rematch tonight against a dangerous Miami team that just got through spoiling their Senior Night last week. Hurricanes coach Jim Larranaga feels like more of a Men’s Wearhouse kind of guy, but don’t let the low fashion quotient fool you. Miami has more than enough talent to shred the Tar Heels’ conference tournament ambitions.

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