SCAN | Music Feature | Indy Week
Pin It

SCAN 

El Vez for Prez

Still wondering which candidate will swing the election? Vote with your blue suede platform shoes for the only man in America who brings together the fine art of Elvis impersonation and Brown Power politics, like the righteous spawn of the Virgin of Guadalupe and the King himself. Here's our e-mail press conference with the candidate with the best hair: ¡El Vez! What office are you running for exactly? I thought the poster and the catchy slogan made it obvious! EL VEZ for PREZ! Perhaps it was the abbreviation Š EL VEZ for PRESIDENT of these UNITED STATES of AMERICA. That makes it clearer but it doesn't roll off your tongue as well.

Who will be your running mate? Well, the first person who asked was Eddie Vedder. (I live in Seattle now.) He thought it would save money on stationery since we have the same initials.

What about your First Lady? The Lovely Elvettes of course!

Who will be in your Cabinet? My rocking band THE MEMPHIS MARIACHIS.

What is your party affiliation? Well, we certainly are not Republicans. We share some ideas with the Democrats. We aren't the Green Party Š it's more like Š the Brown Party Š well more like a Fiesta actually!

Does your party have a platform? It's not really a platform. It's more like a wedgie.

What issues are you running on? Foreign policies, social security, IMMIGRATION (of course), bringing back the H.U.D. projects. I'm especially anti-Patriot Act. It's all so Orwellian to me. 2004 has gone backwards to 1984, just like the Bowie song. Did you know Elvis and Bowie share the same birthday?

Does your campaign have a theme song? No, but ³Let's Get It On² sounds sassy I suppose.

What song do you plan to sing at your inauguration? ³My Way² would be funny, but ³Walk a Mile in My Shoes² comes to mind. ³This Land is My Land, This Land is Your Land² has a nice ring to it.

Who will be eligible to vote in this election? Eighteen and over, American citizen has been the norm. Can you imagine if the world was allowed to vote? If the world was given a voiceŠ! Not that it seems the U.S. is listening.

Why should we vote for El Vez for Prez? The man has style, the man has grace, the man can save the human race.

Vote with your feet for the Brown Party this Friday, Oct. 29 at the Cat's Cradle.

-- Sylvia Pfeiffenberger

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

INDY Week publishes all kinds of comments, but we don't publish everything.

  • Comments that are not contributing to the conversation will be removed.
  • Comments that include ad hominem attacks will also be removed.
  • Please do not copy and paste the full text of a press release.

Permitted HTML:
  • To create paragraphs in your comment, type <p> at the start of a paragraph and </p> at the end of each paragraph.
  • To create bold text, type <b>bolded text</b> (please note the closing tag, </b>).
  • To create italicized text, type <i>italicized text</i> (please note the closing tag, </i>).
  • Proper web addresses will automatically become links.

Latest in Music Feature



Twitter Activity

Comments

Oh! So AIR HORN bands are cool but not vuvuzela bands?! Smacks of prejudice to me!

by Shocka Kahn on Batalá Durham's Central Park Standoff with Liberty Warehouse Residents Is Gentrification in Motion (Music Feature)

Ahmmmmmm, who was there first?

by Diana Ligets Bello on Batalá Durham's Central Park Standoff with Liberty Warehouse Residents Is Gentrification in Motion (Music Feature)

Most Read

Most Recent Comments

Oh! So AIR HORN bands are cool but not vuvuzela bands?! Smacks of prejudice to me!

by Shocka Kahn on Batalá Durham's Central Park Standoff with Liberty Warehouse Residents Is Gentrification in Motion (Music Feature)

Ahmmmmmm, who was there first?

by Diana Ligets Bello on Batalá Durham's Central Park Standoff with Liberty Warehouse Residents Is Gentrification in Motion (Music Feature)

Hey, I fully support Batala practicing at DCP! Why all the dislikes on my vuvuzela band?!?

by Shocka Kahn on Batalá Durham's Central Park Standoff with Liberty Warehouse Residents Is Gentrification in Motion (Music Feature)

Ha, I support Batala, but the IndyWeek comment section apparently doesn't support letters with diacritical marks...

by Lauren Faber on Batalá Durham's Central Park Standoff with Liberty Warehouse Residents Is Gentrification in Motion (Music Feature)

I'm a new Liberty Warehouse resident and I absolutely support Batal's use of the space. They are the kind of …

by Lauren Faber on Batalá Durham's Central Park Standoff with Liberty Warehouse Residents Is Gentrification in Motion (Music Feature)

© 2017 Indy Week • 320 E. Chapel Hill St., Suite 200, Durham, NC 27701 • phone 919-286-1972 • fax 919-286-4274
RSS Feeds | Powered by Foundation