melissa luce | Indy Week

melissa luce 
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Re: “The two faces of Bo Lozoff

I just want to say that I'm glad this article came out. I believe it's sensationalist and I'm pretty sure there's untruths and distortions in it. I have found that to be true about any article written by anyone from the outside of various organizations I've been involved in. Even stuff said and written by people involved in a situation will have that person's spin. I just have to trust that people will either figure that out for themselves or spend their life believing lies. I'm not particularly interested in that aspect of this story. That said, I feel it's important for the truth to come out for those of us who have been involved in HKF but were not aware of what was going on. And I believe the interview is more relevant anyway.

I lived at Kindness House from 2001-2002. I was there while Bo was engaged in sexual misconduct with some of these women. I experienced weird vibes and energy and felt uncomfortable there and attributed it to various thingsespecially that perhaps I wasn't cut out for a religious path. But now that I know what was going on, things make so much more sense to me. As someone who was taught as a child to ignore my own feelings and question my own thoughts, this exposure of Bo's behavior validates my experience. There was something weird going on, I felt it, and now I know more to trust my feelings.

I'm very sorry that Bo and Sita, and really all who have been involved in HKF, have to experience this painful time. I think Bo really does have loving feelings for all the people he writes to. I believe he really feels love for the woman I lived with at the time, who he had irresponsible relations with. I saw how he cared for them. I hesitate to call it Love, because I think true love is pretty rare and is truly healing, but he definitely had strong positive feelings and regard for these woman. AND I think what he did was very likely damaging. The woman that he speaks of helping to healwell what I saw did not look healing. Maybe she was a total wreck when she arrived and was much better by the time I got there, but she looked pretty miserable to me and was struggling with depression and health issues the whole time I was there. I hope she is healing now. She truly is a beautiful woman and a precious soul.

I think the main reason this article came out is because I imagine Bo didn't really heed the message that came out when this all was first revealed on a more private level. It's unfortunate that he didn't admit his mistakes then, publicly, or at least take full responsibility for his actions. I just trying to imagine if Bo Lozoff could have said to the world, listen, I made a terrible mistake. After all my admonisments to people to control their impulses, I could not control mine... or something to that effect. If he could have apologized to Bill in a way that Bill could hear. I feel he betrayed the world, and the world deserves to know. If Bo was not willing to tell the world in his own way, then the wrath of those he hurt came to bear.

I personally feel betrayed. I was living with these people and helping out with the project. I was told that things were a certain way. And they were not that way. I early on set boundaries and limits on my involvement because I felt something was weird. I remember Bo describing my mistrust as some sort of flaw, he was saying it in a loving way, but still, when I think of it, it was not a flaw! I was right to mistrust him. I felt bad for not trusting him. Now I'm angry that he implied it was somehow my fault. I was not deeply involved, so I don't feel deeply hurt. I can't imagine the pain felt others more involved. I have to say though, while the Indy may have acted irresponsibly, I believe Bo is primarily responsible for creating this terrible situation. He must take responsibility for that piece.

I haven't even touched on the emotional abuse issue. Abuse is such a loaded word. I do know that I felt the way Bo talked to people was at times belittling. I don't think he meant to belittle people, but that it can out as a manifestation of his arrogance. I do think the man was and still is arrogant (it comes across in the interview), and that's perhaps his biggest flaw. Bo Lozoff is such a passionate man with such good intentions. If he could deal with that issue, he could truly help heal this sad, mixed-up world. Maybe even help this arrogant mixed-up country we live in.

Bo, I don't know if you will read this, but I'm truly sorry this article feels so hurtful. I think if we don't listen to God's quieter messages, God's voice just keeps getting louder and louder until if feels like a hammer blow to the heart. This is what I believed happened to you. I'd like to end with a quote from you, written to a woman who had killed her own children. Hopefully you can heed your own words:

"You are naked before the world now. Take the freedom to hide nothing, make no excuses, blame no one other than yourself. Surrender to the terrible mystery that has taken place in your life and be a humble servant of God until you draw your last breath. Thats the only thing that will make sense now. You can do this, dear one. And were honored to help. (We) love you right now, right where you are. And if (we) do, then imagine how God does.

4 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by melissa luce on 09/03/2008 at 10:33 AM

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