Dude's Mom | Indy Week

Dude's Mom 
Member since May 13, 2016

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Re: “McCrory Eats Bowl of Shit, Says He'll Support Trump

You are in for it when your stepfather gets home, young man!

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Dude's Mom on 06/08/2016 at 2:02 PM

Re: “McCrory Eats Bowl of Shit, Says He'll Support Trump

I most certainly did not. I suspect he has been getting on the Computer at Mr. Unfellated's house. I don't like that boy, he's a bad influence on Junior.

Junior, you are on the verge of being grounded again.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Lucinda J. Dude
Durham

4 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Dude's Mom on 06/08/2016 at 9:01 AM

Re: “The Morning Roundup: Pat McCrory, Bully Fighter

Dear Mr. Loudly Unfellated:

You seem terribly preoccupied with other people's genitals. Are you also suffering from the residual trauma of having your penis mangled? I'm thinking of starting a Support Group. You would be most welcome.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Lucinda J. Dude
Durham

3 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Dude's Mom on 05/14/2016 at 12:57 PM

Re: “The Morning Roundup: Pat McCrory, Bully Fighter

Dear Members of the Triangle Independent Weekly Newspaper Community,

Please accept my sincerest of apologies for my son's behavior on your Internet Web Page. We purchased him a computer last year, along with an America Online CD (computer disk) in the hopes that he would use it to make friends. It has not gone as his stepfather and I had hoped.

Junior has never been the same since he was traumatized in seventh grade gym class, when his towel fell off in the locker room and the boys started calling him "Stumpy". He never really lived that down. Children can be so cruel, even when you patiently explain to them that botched circumcisions really are alarmingly common and in any case are not at all a thing to ashamed of.

I don't know why he claims to frequent the Fullsteam Beer Hall for the purposes of withholding tips. He is not old enough to drink yet.

Again, please accept my apologies. Raising children is difficult under the best of circumstances, and is especially challenging when they deal with both physical ailments and nearly crippling social ineptitude.

I do enjoy your newspaper, especially for the crossword puzzle. Though I wish you didn't put it so close to the naughty ads.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Lucinda J. Dude
Durham

9 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Dude's Mom on 05/13/2016 at 3:23 PM

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