Good Tuesday morning to you! Let's sharpen our brains with a little early-morning quiz:
These are grumblers, malcontents, following their own sinful desires; they are loud-mouthed boasters, showing favoritism to gain advantage.
The previous paragraph is:
A. the Bible verse Jude 1:16.
B. the lead of a New York Times story about the 2016 presidential primary races.
Whilst you ponder the answer, let's look at some big newsmakers of the past twenty-four hours. A lot of them are prez hopefuls, blessing us with their presence.
First, but definitely least, we have ...
1. Mr. Big Dick! (As in, "He's a big dick. With freakishly small hands".) Donald Drumpf spoke to supporters and taunted protesters in Concord Monday, ahead of North Carolina's March 15 primary. It was the usual cross between "Monday Night Raw" and a Nuremberg Rally — though leaning more and more toward the latter as this disgraceful shitshow continues.
Donald Trump’s rally here began with the candidate asking all attendees to raise their hands and take an oath to vote for him, while extended barriers cordoned off the press and plainclothes private intelligence officers scoured the crowd for protesters.
These new tactics, which the Trump campaign has introduced over the past week, represent refinements by Trump and his staff in their quest to control the atmosphere and message of his often unruly rallies. They come in the wake of an altercation between a photographer and a Secret Service agent at a Trump event, and at a time when the emboldened candidate has escalated confrontations with protesters, leaving his podium to stare them down at his two most recent rallies and repeatedly lamenting that his supporters cannot retaliate against them.
Folks, this guy is no longer just flirting with fascism. He's taking it as his next wife.
2. Mr. Big Dawg! Former President Bill Clinton campaigned for future-president-maybe Hillary Clinton on Monday, in Greensboro, where he had some tough words for Sen. Bernie Sanders.
If Mr. Clinton’s line of attack was familiar – that Mr. Sanders dismisses all critics as being part of “the establishment” – the former president added some sharp language at a small rally here at Elon University law school. He argued that Mr. Sanders was ducking arguments over his health care plan and other domestic proposals, then kicked his speech up a notch as he accused Mr. Sanders of resorting to name-calling with his tirades against the “establishment.”
“That’s killing America, that kind of politics,” Mr. Clinton said after describing Mr. Sanders’s rejection of skeptical reports by liberal economists on his Medicare-for-all plan. “That’s what the Republicans do all the time –
they just call each other names. Let’s have a conversation.”
Yep, that's our Bill. Always taking the high road — in this case by comparing Sanders' campaign rhetoric to what Republican contenders are saying lately. Niiiiice.
He also stumped in Charlotte and Raleigh on Monday. In the latter, he got some help from Rep. David Price in piling on Bernie.
U.S. Rep. David Price, speaking before Clinton, joined in the criticism of Sanders. He said Hillary Clinton had a strong performance in Sunday night’s debate in Michigan.
“Sen. Clinton’s opponent was left having to explain why, on the basis on his political ideology, he was willing to let the American auto industry go down – not his best moment,” Price said.
Price was echoing a Hillary Clinton attack on Sanders from Sunday night's debate in Michigan, and Sanders is hitting back against it.
3. The Booger Eatin' Festival Comes to Raleigh! That's right folks — Ted Cruz is comin' to town today!
This will be Cruz's first stop in the state during the 2016 campaign. Fellow GOP candidate Donald Trump has made two North Carolina stops so far—including one on Monday in Concord—and is scheduled to make a third Wednesday night in Fayetteville.
Imagine... actually being in the same room with Ted Cruz. Any of us would just swoon ourselves to death.
4. Jim O'Neill will stand up to Obama! Never mind that if O'Neill, the Republican District Attorney for Forsyth County, is elected as State Attorney General, President Obama will leave office as O'Neill's (or Josh Stein's we hope) term begins. Oh, well — he'll stand up to post-President Obama anyway! Don't believe us? Just watch his new TV ad! Especially if you're an angry white person, because this one's for you!
Get used to it, folks. There are still 244 days left until the elections. Joy.