1. You're snowed in on a Saturday night. How do you cure cabin fever?
A. Color-coding your sock drawer
B. Hosting an online Stitch 'n' Bitch
C. Making bathtub gin, and then drinking it
2. After a long day, you put on a CD by this musical artist
A. John Philip Sousa
B. The Lumineers
C. Sun Ra
3. What is the ideal shape of a slice of pizza?
C. Use shears to cut my own
4. You need a new pair of pants for work. Where do you shop?
A. Talbot's or Brooks Brothers
B. Raleigh Denim
C. Really Really Free Market
5. Pick an exotic pet that would fit in with your household
A. Chia Pet
C. Wild boar
6. After you die, how do you want your remains disposed of?
A. Interred in a carefully tended mausoleum
B. Donated to science and then buried in a pine box in the woods
C. Cremated and then poured into the pepper shakers at The Spotted Dog
7. What drug have you always wanted to try?
If you answered mostly A—You're an equilateral! You find comfort in order and predictability; spontaneity scares you. An ideal homeowners' association president, Cary resident or hall monitor, you likely take Zoloft for OCD.
If you answered mostly B—You're an isosceles! Your personality is generally even-keeled, but you also have a zany side. Since you live in Raleigh or Chapel Hill, it's a quick commute to your systems analysis job at CREE in Research Triangle Park. And when recreational pot gets legalized in North Carolina, you're so there.
If you answered mostly C—You're a scalene! There's nothing congruent about you, Durham or Carrboro denizen, or your colleagues at the skateboard shop, co-op market or alt-weekly newspaper. Rules are for suckers, especially those governing the use of hardcore anesthetics.