We North Carolinians love a good rivalry. Eastern versus western barbecue; the mountains versus the beach; Mike Nifong versus, well, everyone. But no intra-state debate's ferocity comes close to that of the Triangle's rabid battle between its three ACC universities and their fans.
In our first corner we have Duke University, getting a last-minute pep talk from Coach K. Across the ring is N.C. State University, flexing its technological muscles. And in corner three is UNC-Chapel Hill, banking on its reputation as the country's first state university.
In this session of Talking Smack 101, three superfans take it back to grade school and profess their hatred for one another via MadLibs, the popular fill-in-the-blank word game of sleepover notoriety. Athletic stereotypes: check. Infamous alumni jokes: check. References to expensive lawyers and farm equipment: check and check.
To protect them from coworkers, neighbors and family members, our generous contributors wish to remain anonymous; their mutual loathing of enemy institutions is, however, no less dedicated. Because for these fans, there are no shades of gray—only shades of blue. And red, of course.