Yeeaaahhh ... so I'm going to need you to go to the Colony Theater at 8 p.m. to watch Mike Judge's 1999 workplace satire, OK? You know, the one that didn't do well at the theater but wound up airing on Comedy Central about 500 times and became this huge hit? Ummmmm, and if you could not shout out lines like "I'm going to set the building on fire" or "Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler" or "I might be showing her my 'oh' face" or "Somebody's got a case of the Mondays," that would be great. And make sure you're wearing enough flair. Ahhhh, and could you have those TPS reports ready for us afterward? And could you see what happened to the fax machine? Last we saw, some guys were taking it out to the field with some baseball bats. Soooo ... tickets are $5.50, OK? Yeeeeaahhhhh.—Zack Smith