A ribald yet touching comedy about a birdhouse builder who longs for a "woodpecker" of his own? Seldom does a plot this, um, unique, come along. Handsome and wholesome Jack Peterson has everything: His health, good friends, and a great freelance gig building and erecting birdhouses. Life would be perfect if it weren't for one thing. Jack doesn't have a penis. But he longs for one, (which explains why all the birdhouses look so phallic) and things start looking up as Jack discovers a new surgery that will afford him a penis, his manhood and the confidence to go out with the girl next door. Filmed in Wilmington by 1995 UNC graduate Onur Tukel, Ding-a-ling-LESS will premiere this Friday at the Carolina Theatre in Durham. See "Special Showings" for details.