Lose 30 pounds in 30 days | Front Porch | Indy Week
Pin It

Lose 30 pounds in 30 days 

I am driven by the same goal in life as most people, to write a celebrity diet book.

However, my culinary standards are low. I tend to munch on sunset servings of lunch-box-du-jour, pizza froid in the morning and a bag of honey roasted peanuts every time I fill up the gas tank.

It's been a good meal if I can sit down, the phone doesn't ring for five minutes, I'm not in a car, and someone asks someone else in a curious, heartfelt, civil tone, "So, how was your day?" It's been a meal to remember if someone else answers in a similar tone.

That's why I received some outside help on my book, tentatively titled, The Dry Dog Food Diet.

In our manic, multi-tasking world, I know it will be popular. You get to eat fast, either standing, sitting or lying down. It's a one bowl meal, no clean up required. A wide variety of snacking is permitted, but desserts are rare.

The induction phase is a bit of a challenge, though. Getting used to skipping a midday meal and substituting water for coffee. Also, no one makes conversation, even small talk during chow time. Eat first, quickly, then catch up on things.

On The Dry Dog Food Diet, you'll feel like running around a lot. There's no picking at food or wondering what else might have been on the menu. No counting calories and carbohydrates. It's just: Eat and go.

Shopping is easy. It's all there on that one aisle in the grocery store; look for the big, bright colored bags, closest to the floor. Stay away from the treats.

Beware of the usual cravings, the biggest of which this time of year is simply to be let inside for the night.

Look for my next book, The New Dry Dog Food Diet Revolution, due out this time next year. Expect recipes and testimonials.

Latest in Front Porch

More by John Valentine

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

INDY Week publishes all kinds of comments, but we don't publish everything.

  • Comments that are not contributing to the conversation will be removed.
  • Comments that include ad hominem attacks will also be removed.
  • Please do not copy and paste the full text of a press release.

Permitted HTML:
  • To create paragraphs in your comment, type <p> at the start of a paragraph and </p> at the end of each paragraph.
  • To create bold text, type <b>bolded text</b> (please note the closing tag, </b>).
  • To create italicized text, type <i>italicized text</i> (please note the closing tag, </i>).
  • Proper web addresses will automatically become links.

Latest in Front Porch

  • One vote

    • Nov 12, 2014
  • Box of one

    Was I paying to be helped or to feel important, a bona fide expert on only myself?
    • Sep 24, 2014
  • The Old South (Hills)

    The Old South (Hills)

    • Sep 17, 2014
  • More »


Twitter Activity

Most Recent Comments

'Anna Lee' is a truly beautiful song, Ms Dossett. And I love Levon Helm's rendition. You are blessed with a …

by Byron Miller on A song for Levon (Front Porch)

Just now seeing this....Liz and I were super close friends in the early 80s. She was so special. I had …

by RoBert 1 on In memoriam: Liz Holm, 1959–2013 (Front Porch)

Nobody will be surprised to learn that Hocutt never went to Nam. He was in the Navy but washed out …

by Jefflenter on Raleigh bad boy no more (Front Porch)

I see his concern. Yes, it was a well written story and showed his caring side for sure. But not …

by Linda Bates Terrell on Motorcycle men (Front Porch)

Follow-up to my "nervous mom" comment. The last coupe of weeks we have been in many situations with individuals that …

by paulapowers on Governor's School blues (Front Porch)

Comments

'Anna Lee' is a truly beautiful song, Ms Dossett. And I love Levon Helm's rendition. You are blessed with a …

by Byron Miller on A song for Levon (Front Porch)

Just now seeing this....Liz and I were super close friends in the early 80s. She was so special. I had …

by RoBert 1 on In memoriam: Liz Holm, 1959–2013 (Front Porch)

Most Read

  1. Dot-con (Peripheral Visions)
  2. Smug Revisionism (Letters to the Editor)

© 2016 Indy Week • 201 W. Main St., Suite 101, Durham, NC 27701 • phone 919-286-1972 • fax 919-286-4274
RSS Feeds | Powered by Foundation