Disturbing the peace | Front Porch | Indy Week
Pin It

Disturbing the peace 

click to enlarge frontporch.jpg

Joshua Bailey is my nephew. Joshua Bailey was my nephew. I'm not quite sure which tense to use. Is he still my nephew even though he's dead? Does my relationship to Josh cease because he can no longer participate in it? I know many before me have pondered these same questions and grieved the loss of a loved one. And this is not the first tragic death my family has faced.

Still, this is different. Josh's murder is beyond words. I've never come close to experiencing the breadth of emotions that I've felt this week. And even though we've said our formal goodbyes to Josh, this nightmare is not going to end any time soon. There will be the arraignment, the jury selection, the trials. There will be pleas, testimonies and verdicts. And there will be media who will get so many things wrong—not because they are malicious but because, as one reporter told me when I corrected him recently, "we're only human."

My sister and her husband are exhausted, yet every day there is something new to contend with. We won't be able to put Josh to rest physically until the investigators are sure they've collected all the evidence. We will likely never be able to put Josh to rest spiritually or emotionally. We can't know for sure that justice will be served. And, as if what Josh suffered wasn't horrifying enough, my family will have to relive our pain with every bit of testimony, every news item.

But perhaps most painfully, there will be those who think they have a right to an opinion about something of which they know nothing. There are and will continue to be bloggers and chat rooms, online comments and e-mails about Josh. People who think that it's OK to make hurtful, outlandish or incendiary remarks just because they can. People who don't seem to care that Josh was a real young man with a real family who is currently experiencing the worst pain of their lives. Out of tragedy comes more tragedy.

There are so many things I could tell you about Josh, his joys and struggles. Like everyone, he had a life that can't be summed up in a few words. But I fear that Josh's life will be lost in this frenzy. I fear that our memories of him will be overshadowed by what has happened.

Joshua McCabe Bailey was only 20 years old. I can't stop thinking about his smile, his bear hugs, his corny sense of humor. I can't stop thinking about a Johnny Cash song that we both loved. Because when I stop thinking about these things, I think about how he suffered needlessly and mercilessly and how those of us who love Josh suffer still.

Joshua Bailey was murdered July 29 in Chapel Hill. Ten people have been arrested in connection with his killing.

Join us on the Porch: Send submissions of 500 words to editors@indyweek.com.

Latest in Front Porch

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

INDY Week publishes all kinds of comments, but we don't publish everything.

  • Comments that are not contributing to the conversation will be removed.
  • Comments that include ad hominem attacks will also be removed.
  • Please do not copy and paste the full text of a press release.

Permitted HTML:
  • To create paragraphs in your comment, type <p> at the start of a paragraph and </p> at the end of each paragraph.
  • To create bold text, type <b>bolded text</b> (please note the closing tag, </b>).
  • To create italicized text, type <i>italicized text</i> (please note the closing tag, </i>).
  • Proper web addresses will automatically become links.

Latest in Front Porch

  • One vote

    • Nov 12, 2014
  • Box of one

    Was I paying to be helped or to feel important, a bona fide expert on only myself?
    • Sep 24, 2014
  • The Old South (Hills)

    The Old South (Hills)

    • Sep 17, 2014
  • More »


Twitter Activity

Most Recent Comments

'Anna Lee' is a truly beautiful song, Ms Dossett. And I love Levon Helm's rendition. You are blessed with a …

by Byron Miller on A song for Levon (Front Porch)

Just now seeing this....Liz and I were super close friends in the early 80s. She was so special. I had …

by RoBert 1 on In memoriam: Liz Holm, 1959–2013 (Front Porch)

Nobody will be surprised to learn that Hocutt never went to Nam. He was in the Navy but washed out …

by Jefflenter on Raleigh bad boy no more (Front Porch)

I see his concern. Yes, it was a well written story and showed his caring side for sure. But not …

by Linda Bates Terrell on Motorcycle men (Front Porch)

Follow-up to my "nervous mom" comment. The last coupe of weeks we have been in many situations with individuals that …

by paulapowers on Governor's School blues (Front Porch)

Comments

'Anna Lee' is a truly beautiful song, Ms Dossett. And I love Levon Helm's rendition. You are blessed with a …

by Byron Miller on A song for Levon (Front Porch)

Just now seeing this....Liz and I were super close friends in the early 80s. She was so special. I had …

by RoBert 1 on In memoriam: Liz Holm, 1959–2013 (Front Porch)

Most Read

  1. Drawn to Durham (Peripheral Visions)
  2. What Makes a Farm a Farm? (Back Talk)

© 2016 Indy Week • 201 W. Main St., Suite 101, Durham, NC 27701 • phone 919-286-1972 • fax 919-286-4274
RSS Feeds | Powered by Foundation