Heartfelt thanks to Lisa Sorg for her eloquent paean to the dextrose-fortified cereals of yore ("Sugar! Injury! Free inside!" Aug. 22). For years I have tried to convey to my children the lost pleasures of cutting out a 45-RPM record (the Archies!) from the back of an Alpha-Bits box, the intensity of the rivalry between Quisp and Quake, and the metaphysical conundrum embedded in the question (best expressed in song) "Who grew the Freakies Tree?" (amazingly, we still have no idea!).
Alas, even consumption of an ancient cache of Sugar Smacks in front of a streaming episode of H.R. Pufnstuf is but a poor simulacrum of a time gone by. Soy milk and "fooducation" apps? Oh please: Give me a fistful of soggy Crunch Berries any day of the week. "Listen," I tell my kids, "if the roof of your mouth isn't hemorrhaging by the time you're done, then you're not doing it right."