Black metal and real soul: Our favorite Triangle fantasy bands | Music Feature | Indy Week
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On Friday night, 10 acts will take the Local 506 stage to perform one new composition unlike any song they've played with their actual bands. Herein, our suggestions...

Black metal and real soul: Our favorite Triangle fantasy bands 

These bands would be your life

On Friday night, at least 10 acts—featuring Joe Romeo, Billy Sugarfix and members of bands like Caltrop, The Kingsbury Manx and Mayflies USA—will take the Local 506 stage for one song each. The new composition will be unlike any song they've played with their actual bands, and, according to the organizers of what's being called One Night Stand, "wizard metal, pop country, AM gold/ feel-good folk, and reggae" will all be explored. We here at the Independent Weekly decided this was a grand idea, so we took the liberty of organizing a few acts for the second installment of One Night Stand. The date for that show remains TBD, but we'll be sure to let you know.

Satan's Fingers

MEMBERS: John Darnielle (aka Hellhammer II) and a drum machine borrowed from Xasthur, who he doesn't think is really even that awesome

DEBUT ALBUM: Messianic Satan

HIGHLIGHT TRACKS: "That Mountain Goat Has Satan's Eyes and Horns," "Going to Norway," "I Am Going to Make It Through This Year (But You're Not Because I Am Going to Fucking Kill You With Some Help From the Dark Lord Who Is My Master, So Fuck You, Asshole)"

BIO: Known for too long as a rudimentary acoustic guitarist and one of the world's best lyricists via The Mountain Goats, John Darnielle—also a heavy metal critic for Decibel—drops the hollow-body bullshit and praises the dark power of black metal. An early three-band tour with Dark Throne and Thor's Hammer gives him more cred than most USBM bands. He drops 4AD for Northern Heritage and smiles with hatred, fake blood dripping from his teeth, claiming the mantle "Best Ever Black Metal Band Out of Durham."

Omega Front

MEMBERS: Brad Cook, bass/ barbs; Phil Cook, distortion/ damage; Joe Westerlund, str8 sick beats/ sin

DEBUT ALBUM: Bury the Squares

HIGHLIGHT TRACKS: "Bone Iver," "No Peace, Just Intonation," "Wisconcentration Camp"

BIO: When former DeYarmond Edison frontman Justin Vernon fled to the woods of Wisconsin to record his breakthrough LP For Emma, Forever Ago as Bon Iver, the other Yarmos chose a slightly different path: A blindingly negative four-four hardcore album produced by Australia's Nasenbluten and C.O.C.'s Mike Dean.

Grrlzone

MEMBERS: Heather McEntire, electric guitar/ vocals/ FX; Aimee Argote, acoustic guitar/ vocals/ FX; John D. Tokenboy, drums/ Y chromosome

DEBUT ALBUM: Riot Gear

HIGHLIGHT TRACKS: "Post-Post-Rock" (feat. Scotty Irving), "Thorn Bird III (Damaged Version)," "If by 'Noise' You Mean 'Righteous Fucking Music,' Then Yeah, I Guess It's Pretty Noise"

BIO: Heather McEntire (Bellafea, Un Deux Trois) and Aimee Argote (Des Ark) use guitars, E-bows, loop stations and delay units to make noise music that retains the raw power and wounded beauty of their rock bands. Layered, shuddering howls and rococo acoustic guitar splatters swell through glacial drones, as Tokenboy provides convulsive percussion.

The Testify Brothers

MEMBERS: John (Howie) Testify Jr. and Thad (Cockrell) Testify, vocals; with Will McFarlane, guitar; Danny Kurtz, bass; James "Bubba" Norwood, drums; Greg Rice, piano, Hammond B3 organ; Tres Chicas, Supreme background vocals; the Mebane Horns

DEBUT ALBUM: Guilty of Soul

HIGHLIGHT TRACKS: "If You Hadn't Left Me (I Wouldn't Be With Her)," "Soul Verdict," "Soothe Me" (Sam & Dave cover)

BIO: The only things shining brighter than the matching, shocking-blue jumpsuits of Thad Testify and John Testify Jr. are their mountain-high/ soul-deep vocals and their intricate choreography—pipes and moves developed on stages from Muscle Shoals to Efland. Sure, they're not really siblings, but that's just in keeping with most of the brother acts of '60s and '70s soul. There were three different Bobby Purifys, after all. Now, Testify!

See, What Happened Was...

MEMBERS: Phonte Coleman, lead yowler; Percivul Miraculous, fro-hawked, chitlin' bucket percussionist, axe guitarist, harmonica player and also four-time Guitar Hero champion, Superchunk league; L.E.G.A.C.Y., Dudenbostel mandolin, tweaked by area producer C. Tyson to give it that "fuckin' awesome" sound

DEBUT ALBUM: There's So Much Karma in This Kangol

HIGHLIGHT TRACKS: "Love Ain't Love Without the First Two Letters of Ovary, Girl," "Fiddy-Lebin (50,11) Times," "E Pluribus Unum Gatdamnit!"

BIO: Abandoning the battle-stricken urban soundscape in search of a louder, pinching way of evoking intellectual whirlwinds, Little Brother's Phonte Coleman summoned Congolese voodoo priestess and cupcake decorator Purple St. James III for spiritual guidance. "I'm gonna have to charge you fools $200 for letting you rehearse that loud-ass rock 'n' roll shit in my garage," she prophesied. "Y'all ain't about to run my damn electricity bill sky high." The indie rockers yielded a 12-track demo that created a Sub Pop and Matador bidding war, causing Tay to say, "Forget money. It's about the art!" and go DIY: Look for a torrent of the band's Yorke-fronting-Death Cab jams on the Internet.

Innocence Lost

MEMBERS: Katherine Whalen, vox; Django Haskins, vox; The Old Ceremony Chamber Orchestra, instruments

DEBUT ALBUM: Perennial Heartache

HIGHLIGHT TRACKS: "Get Me Away From Here, I'm Crying," "Just Like Cate Blanchett in That Dylan Movie," "Break This Heart and You Bought It"

BIO: Accidentally locked out on the Local 506 roof, Whalen and Haskins discover a bottle of Jim Beam, and a pint later start harmonizing over their relational difficulties, deciding what the world needs now is something similar to the Friends theme as scored by Burt Bacharach.

These bands, as far as we know, are entirely works of fiction created by Rick Cornell, Grayson Currin, Brian Howe, Rich Ivey, Chris Parker and Eric Tullis. Go see the bands actually playing One Night Stand at Local 506 Friday, Feb. 6, at 9 p.m. There's no cover.

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