KevinD | Indy Week

KevinD 
Member since Aug 30, 2008


Mebane, NC

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Re: “The two faces of Bo Lozoff

Why do people insist on defending Bo? Why won't you help Bo get help and find healing? No writer on this commment page knows Bo like I do except his daughter-in-law Mellisa. Did you read what she wrote in the " Going Off About Lozoff " column? I can only imagine how hard it was for her to write so honestly. Do you think she lied or exagerated? What motive would she have to lie?

I lived and worked side by side with Bo for 2 1/2 years. I ate at a table with him about 2,739 times. I've had countless one-on-one sessions with him and countless group sessions with him and members of the community. I KNOW BO LOZOFF !!!

Becky, you're not painting a clear and accurate picture of your experience at HKF. Bo was on tour for most of your stay in NC. He came back in the end of August or early September to build his cabin. How long were you actually in his presence? A month? Were you ever at Kindness House? I remember Bo working on that cabin from sun-up until after dark most days. How can you defend Bo against people that know him so much more intimately than you do? You live in Iowa. How did you find out about this?

Danishauthor, you met Bo a few times. How can you sit there and defend something you know nothing about? We all know about Bo's good work. What we're discussing here is Bo's BAD work of which you know NOTHING about.

Anyone who defends Bo's sexual misconduct isn't Bo's friend at all. Bo needs to hear the truth right now. My friend Bo needs help. Coming from a place of sadness and feeling bad for Bo in his time of struggle, isn't helping him to heal. The truth of the matter is that he hurt people and severely tarnished the reputation of a beautiful organization. An organization that helped save my life. Bo needs to hear the truth from his friends, supporters and people who claim they know and love him.

One of the main reasons that this all happened is that Sita, Catherine and Josh refused and failed to confront Bo and compel him to stop working with woman sexually. Bo wasn't confronted for his screaming temper tantrums. He was allowed full reign resulting in what we're seeing today.

Please help Bo. Tell him what he really needs to hear. Allow him to fall so he can heal and rise up. That's love. Believe it or not, ironically, Bo taught me this. Too bad he put's himself above his own teachings.

I love Bo. Please show him that you truly love him too.

Sincerely,

Kevin Dessert

9 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by KevinD on 09/07/2008 at 9:35 AM

Re: “Going off about Lozoff

Bo is one of the most sincere spiritual seekers that I've ever met. I love him and if he needed me, I would be there in a flash to help him. I have a life second to none and I owe a lot of that to him. I can't speak for everyone but all I know is that every word that I spoke to the Independant and every word that I wrote in these comment pages are true.

All I want is healing. Healing for Bo and everyone involved. My heart goes out to Bo and it breaks my heart to see him hurting like this with his back against the wall.

It had to happen though. It has to stop. Changes within HKF need to occur. Big changes. The people running it, Catherine, Bo, Sita and Josh need to step down. There all equally culpable for tarnishing the reputation and integrity of HKF. It's a deep shame. How can they lead and inspire a population of people so lost. Trust is broken and there'll always be a clould of suspicion over HKF. It's not right.

My heart and soul is in the work of HKF and the Prison Ashram Project and it's really all I care about and why I came to North Carolina. I wasn't allowed to do this work fully because of Bo and the people who ran HKF. Because of what was going on there in secret behind the scenes.

Where does HKF go from here? Will Bo in his arrogance and anger shut it all down or will he gracefully humble himself and turn it over to someone else? Take a rest Bo. Go search your heart and soul and bring forth the Bo I know you really are. Find healing Brother. I love you no matter what. I'm here for you. I always was there for you but in your arrogance you never saw it. Let's start again Bo. Call on me and see.

Kevin Dessert

0 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by KevinD on 09/04/2008 at 7:27 AM

Re: “The two faces of Bo Lozoff

Now I see clearly the " two faces of Charles Clark. " Charles is correct in saying that he lived at Kindness House with Bruce and myself. He is also right in that Bo and Sita do good work and have a very loving and compassionate side. They've done much good and spread much love in the world. Like I said, I'm a product of that work.

The title of the article is " The Two Faces Of Bo Lozoff " We all know ond see the face of Bo that is comprised of love and compassion. He's been in newspaper and magagazine articles all over the world for the last three decades attesting to the fact of his love and good work. No one is denying that. BO DOES GOOD WORK !!!! But there's also another side to Bo's personality that is dark and victimizes people. That uses people for self centered purposes and self-gratification under the guise of helping them. Prior to this article by the Independent, not a single word has ever been written about this other side of Bo.

If the Independent had forwarned Bo and given him a month to prepare for this article, Bo would have easily had hundreds of people from all over the world praise him, Sita and HKF for their decades of service and good work. These people would have been people who have never lived at Kindness House and who've never seen the dark side of Bo. So, what good would it do to hear from even 10,000 of them? The people who know Bo's other side are a small number, probably under 100. Bo is extremely media savy so to extract the truth out of all this, how else could Matt Saldana have approached this story in order to get to the truth?

Now let me share a little about Charles Clark. Charles never came to Kindness House as an ex-con. He was never in Kindness House's ex-con program. He came as a volunteer from Mississippi. He had an extremely tumultous experience at Kindness House.

From the begining, Charles walked around bashing and bad-mouthing Bo, Sita and Catherine behind their backs. He would go on about how controling it was. He would bash Bo's music and even gave Bo a nickname that we all used behind his back. " Bozo " Lozoff. This was our own private joke. Charles would hardly ever sit around the woodstove during the evenings and was often confronted about this at the weekly tunings. He would use any excuse to leave the property usually on his bicycle where he would go to the local store to buy coffee and beer.

At one tuning, Charles went into this rant about his years of using and manufacturing crystal meth. He went on in tears about how many people were harmed by his meth and were even in a mental institution for life. He went on about how guilty he felt. Come to find out, when his wife moved into a cabin on Kindness House property, Bo asked her about this and she told him it was a lie. Bo took me aside and said, " I asked Charles' wife about what Charles shared about the meth and she said it wasn't true. I can't believe a word Charles says. He's a compulsive lier. " Yeah, Charles is a great witness for the goings on at Kindness House.

Not to mention that every time Charles comes to Kindness House after accumulating months or even years of sobriety for Alcoholism, he soon starts to drink again and goes off on these blackout drinking binges. I asked him the last time, " why is it that every time you come to Kindness Hoouse and get arond Bo, Sita and Catherine, you get filled with anger and rage and you start drinking? " He said that he didn't know.

Charles is in Mississippi at the moment. How did he hear about the artice? Did Bo, Sita and Catherine call him? And Bo calls me the master manipulator. I now clearly see the two faces of Charles. He's a great witness as to the true goings on at Kindness House.

I love Charles and I pray that he can one day find it in his heart to see the pain and suffering that Bo has caused and can maybe share a little about that truth.

Kevin Dessert

Posted by KevinD on 08/31/2008 at 11:10 AM

Re: “The two faces of Bo Lozoff

What I find interesting is that every single post from admirerers of Bo are from people who have visited Kindness House but never lived there. All they saw was what Bo wanted them to see. They really have no clue as to the reallity of what went on there behind closed doors. They speak from total ignorance

Let's here from some people who actually lived there.

Kevin Dessert

Posted by KevinD on 08/30/2008 at 4:06 PM

Re: “The two faces of Bo Lozoff

I feel it necessary to respond to Bo Lozoff's post dated Aug. 30, 2008. While it is purely natural to attempt to discredit your accuser, I can't just stand by and allow Bo to feed the Indy's readers such bold faced lies especially since many of them are directed at me.

The truth is, I had been approached for an interview by a local magazine several times over the last year or so concerning my knowledge and experiences while living and working at Kindness House. I denied the request for a few reasons. The main reason being, the energy behind the interview seemed and felt motivated by revenge and anger. I didn't want any part of that. At some point, the information gathered by the magazine was turned over to the Independent.

I received a call from Matt Saldana in the end of July while I was on vacation in Oregon. Initially, I told Matt that I would have to think about it and that I would get back to him. I believe that I called Matt back within an hour or two and told him that I would do an interview for the Independent. What changed my mind about doing the interview was that the whole energy behind the motive seemed to have shifted from anger and revenge, to exposing Bo and the HKF staff's unethical and soul damaging practices in order to facilitate healing. Healing for Bo, Sita, Catherine Miller, Josh Lozoff and anyone else who felt hurt, abused, victimized or whatever by Bo and/or his staff and/or board of directors.

Personally, I wasn't much affected by the goings on at Kindness House while I was there. In comparison to the environment that I grew up in and the subsequent lifestyle that my upbringing led me to, enduring what went on at Kindness House for 2 1/2 years was nothing for me. Bo never intimidated me. In fact, he only yelled at me once during a staff meeting when I fist got a to Kindness House. When he finished screaming, I calmly looked him in the eyes and said, " what the hell was that about? " He never answered my question but he never yelled at me again. I have though on many occasions seen and/or heard Bo scream at many people in a totally abusive manner. Some were male ex-cons but sad to say, most were female volunteers. He left the women literally shaking with fear and he usually left the male ex-cons seething with anger. This was all done in the presence of Sita and Catherine Miller and never once was Bo ever confronted by Sita and Catherine for this behavior. It was quite the contrary. It was always, " Bo is always right. You should listen to Bo. If Bo did or said it it must be divine guidance. " I saw right through all of this foolishness.

In retrospect, I see that I never fit in at Kindness House because I never put Bo up on any kind of pedestal. I never saw him as anything other than just another sick and suffering human being. He had no hold or control over me. Despite the many ridged rules, I did whatever I wanted to do. Just like Bo, Sita and Catherine did. I drank coffee almost everyday, I drank beer whenever I wanted, I snuck off the property at night once my 90 days were up and I had sex with whomever I chose whenever I chose. I used to tell Bo all the time, " it's not words that teach and guide us but the actions of those we admire and look up to that guide us." So, caught up in the sneakiness, lies and deceptions of Kindness House and it's staff and board of directors, I did exactly what I was being shown. It's not an excuse. It's a fact. The fact that someone could use this as an excuse, is a powerful example of why what went on at Kindness House shouldn't have went on. I confronted Bo about this damaging and hypocritical dynamic on many occasions almost to the point of begging, but neither him or his staff would humble their selves enough to seriously consider it. I was just an ex-con. What did I know. That's the response that I received.

I went to Kindness House because I believed in Bo's work and I am a product of that work. I still believe in the work. Bo always said that one day an ex-con would run the Prison Ashram Project. It's in his familiar reteric and in his literiture. Well, I ask when will this happen? Who will run it after Bo? Why is there not one ex-con on th HKF board of directors? Why is Bo and HKF estranged from EVERY single ex-con that went through Kindness House except one? What in God's name really went on there?

Bo accuses me of making death threats against Catherine Miller and her husband. That is ridiculous! I would have been arrested immediately. The truth of what happened is that I had confronted Bo on all his behaviors and goings on at Kindness House. I confessed to him about my breaking the rules. One particular thing was that my 14 year old son and I took a feral kitten that Catherine and Bo wanted to make into a barn cat, into our cabin to sleep at night. The kitten was kept outside in a cage in the barn in feezing cold weather. The kitten became domesticated and lived with my son and I unbeknown to Bo, Sita and Catherine. However, Catherine's 10 year old son knew about it and he kept it secret. Bo told me that he would keep confidential all of the things we had discussed, but that he felt obligated to tell Catherine about the kitten because it invoved me involving her 10 year old son in a lie and a secret from his mother. Bo convinced me that if he told Catherine, she would be quite angry but it would be best if he told her. I trusted Bo and went along with it.

Catherine wanted to have a meeting as soon as she found out. The plan was for Catherine, Bo, Sita and myself, to meet in Bo and Sita's cabin. This was a Friday night. As soon as we sat down to meet, Catherine Miller said to me, " I want you out of here by next week. " I immediately flipped out. I called Catherine a cold hearted bitch and I told them all off about their blatent double standards and hypocrocy. I told Bo off too. I stood up to leave the meeting, and Bo got between me and the door. I asked him to move. His right hand moved up and I slapped it down intinctively and reflexively. Bo said something like, " you hit me. " I told him that I didn't hit him but that I instinctively blocked his hand from raising and I asked him not to raise his hands to me. He then moved out of my way and I left for my cabin on the lower property.

It just so happen that my son's and I's cabin was next door to the Millers. Bo came down to my cabin a few minutes after the meeting telling me that Catherine wanted to call the sheriff because she was afraid but he convinced her not to. He then told me that I had to leave the next day. I confronted Bo some more on his behavoir and the hypocracy again but all he could say was that it was Catherine's call that I leave. The next day I moved into a place in Chapel Hill owened by one of Bo's friends. A few weeks later, I moved into an apartment in Chapel Hill with my 14 year old son.

After about a year, I contacted Bo saying that I was tired of being bitter. I asked him where could we go from here. It was at this time that Bo emailed me and told me that an ex-resident of Kindness House told him that I said that I was going to break into a neighbor of Kindness House, steal a gun and kill the Millers. This was the first I heard about any such threat. It turns out that Bo received this from a resident who was abusing alcohol and was extremely delusional. Bo's own words in the email was that he never believed that I said that. That was the last I heard about this threat until Bo unfairly used it today to discredit me. Anyone who knows me knows that it is not my style to make such threats. If I walked around living in that attitude, how would I have bean able to stay out of prison for almost six years. There's no way. Plus, if I made this threat and Bo and Catherine thought it was so credible and serious, why did they allow me to move back onto the property after it was in the process of being sold? And, why did they allow me to volunteer reading and delivering mail up until Feruary 2008?

I'm not angry with Bo or anyone else at HKF. I feel bad for Bo and all I want is for him to heal through all this. I didn't manipulate anyone to do this article. I haven't seen or spoken to David Timmerman in years. I never even knew he felt this way about his experieces at Kindness House. I was shocked when I read his name in the article. I didn't manipulate Bruce either. The fact is, Bruce had been trying to get me invloved for months but I refused. I told my story in order to facilitate healing and to bring light to some incredible darkness. I told my story because I cried when some of the woman shared their victimization and exploitation by Bo. Bo won't tell you of the woman who refused to come forward. How many are out there? I know of at least four more.

I didn't learn my trade at Kindness House either. I learned it from my boss who is a very experienced carpenter. We all know what I really learned at Kindness House. It's incredibly shocking to me to see Bo go to such extremes in order to avoid facing his demons. I love Bo and I owe a lot of what I have in my life to the work he has done for prisoners. I would do anything to help him heal. That doesn't mean that I will help him to cover up his negative behaviors and actions. I pray for his healing and for the healing of everyone involved and touched by this whole situation. Bo's back is against the wall and I forgive him for attempting to use me as a way out. I hope one day, Bo, Sita and Catherine Miller find the peace they so long for.

Sincerely, Kevin Dessert

Posted by KevinD on 08/30/2008 at 3:08 PM

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